Beauty as Empowerment

I’ve had time to reflect on the deep gaps in our training, especially in psychology. That absence isn’t incidental. Without the tools to recognize distress or self-esteem issues in our clients, it becomes easier to upsell, to suggest another “fix,” to profit off of insecurities, especially those triggered by the natural process of aging. As a beauty professional who’s both participated in and critiqued this system, I want to offer a new relationship with beauty—one rooted not in appearance, but in autonomy, joy, and radical authenticity.

Jessica DeFino, a beauty industry critic I respect, argues that we should change our language around beauty. She claims that the beauty industry misuses the word "beauty." She says the beauty industry it isn’t actually about beauty at all—it’s about appearance. As someone trained in cosmetology and the philosophy of aesthetics, I couldn’t agree more with this foundational critique. But I also diverge from DeFino’s view in one crucial way.

"...beauty industry it isn’t actually about beauty at all

—it’s about appearance"

DeFino often critiques the industry as a monolith and, in doing so, misses the nuance and humanity of small-scale beauty professionals—the hairstylists, estheticians, barbers, nail artists, and makeup artists who understand that beauty is not one-dimensional. It ignores the story of the workers, the humans, and artists who recognize that beauty is not merely about surface appearance. Furthermore, she ignores the emotional dimension of beauty work, which makes beauty multidimensional, expressive, and often communal. The beauty worker is the beating heart of the industry—not the corporations that churn out insecurity in a bottle.

However, as beauty professionals, our relationship with these conversations is odd—sometimes they make us feel like we are a part of the problem. But the truth is, we have been trained to avoid these topics.

Why? Because they are bad for business.

Take aging, for example. Here I am, turning 35 this month—and honestly? I’m not mad about it. In fact, the more grey hairs and smile lines I get, the more beautiful I feel.

That shouldn't be the case, according to what we've been sold.

We don’t talk about topics like this enough—or maybe it’s something we’ve been conditioned not to talk about. In an industry built on image, having a good relationship with aging can feel like bad business practices.

In my twenties, I wore rainbow hair and loud makeup proudly. It was fun. And I still love those expressions—and may go back to them. But when I had to step back as a cosmetologist due to my health, I finally had time to do something I’d never done or was frowned upon in the industry: GO NATURAL. No dye or makeup. And what I discovered broke my heart.

So many women have never seen their natural hair or are repulsed by their bare skin or unfiltered face.

We’re told we sell confidence. But we have to ask—do we? Or is “confidence” just a branded pitch we’ve internalized and recite without asking whether what we offer is truly in our clients’ best interest?

DeFino and I both recognize that the beauty industry has generated an artificial social structure—one where women’s worth is measured in proximity to youth. As we age, society tells us that we lose value. So, we’re sold anti-aging products, told to hide our greys, and are warned against long hair because it supposedly “drags the face down.” Is this beautiful? Defino and I both agree that it is far from it. In this view, beauty is not about self-expression or bringing beauty forth; it's about maintaining an illusion and fostering insecurity.

Sitting with my natural self showed me another side of my relationship with beauty I had never explored.

When it comes to aging in relation to beauty, it isn’t just physical. It’s spiritual. We’ve been fed the lie that beauty equals youth. But true beauty lies in authenticity. In the quiet self-assurance that says, “This is who I am. No facades. I am enough.”

Now, this may appear as an argument for the “clean girl aesthetic,” but it’s not. It’s an argument that questions an exploitative system. It’s critical thinking. So please, don’t get me wrong—I’m not anti-beauty service—far from it. Play with your look! Change it up! It’s freeing. It’s rebellious. It’s healthy not to be overly attached to any one version of yourself. Botox, fillers, facials, hair color—these services have value. Some even have legitimate mental health or medical benefits. Beauty modifications are supposed to enhance your natural beauty and make it more pronounced. However, the beauty industry’s current structure has led us to abuse them. We use them to hide, to escape, to conform to standards that were never meant to serve us. That abuse strips us of our appreciation for real beauty.

As beauty professionals, we recognize the emotional dimensions of our work and its importance, but we need to be aware that we have been trained to exploit our clients at times emotionally. We must unlearn this and move our method for sales into a holistic approach.

"What I’m saying is deeply progressive for our industry. It’s body-inclusive. Trans-inclusive. Centered on personal agency, autonomy, radical self-love, and collectivism. Beauty is a form of empowerment through this lens."

So when it comes to beauty services, I do think it’s important to ask: Why? Why do you want this service? Why will this aesthetic bring you joy? Why will you feel confident? Or do you simply want that look because you fear how you’ll be perceived without it?

We are the leaders of the beauty industry, and real change starts with us. So we should ask ourselves and our clients these questions. If we approach beauty from this perspective, we can show ourselves and our clients a new relationship with beauty that we have never experienced before.

Because that “why” makes all the difference.

Beauty is change, and change is good. But let that change come from joy, not fear. From curiosity, not shame. From expression, not pressure.